Claire's Diary 31/12/2015

31/12/2015

Dear diary

Before I close this book for the last time, I want to address a few things. As you know, every entry of this diary has included a little illustration of me. You may also have noticed these drawings have changed in style over the year. The reason for this is I didn't bother to create a model sheet.

Also you may have noticed the colour of my fur changed with the seasons. Go back and look if you hadn't noticed.

Finally I don't know if the calendar I promised will actually happen. It's a bit late to be thinking of that now. Maybe next December I'll have a 2017 calendar made or something.

Anyway, happy new year and a big thank you to everyone who read this diary.

Claire

Claire's Diary 30/12/2015

30/12/2015

Dear diary

This is my favourite part of losing weight. Smoothies! I made myself a carrot smoothie this morning. Very tasty. I would and a little sugar but that would not be good for my teeth. Cabbage smoothies on the other hand, always need sweetening.

Claire

Claire's Diary 29/12/2015

29/12/2015

Dear diary

My fitness scheme is going rather well. I'm not losing much weight, but I've found some fun things to do. Cycling, rowing, rock climbing, I love that stuff. Hopefully by January I shall see some improvements. If not, I reckon I'll be fine until Easter. You can't not get fat at Easter. It's physically impossible.

Claire

Claire's Diary 28/12/2015

28/12/2015

Dear diary

I'm dealing with it. I'm spending time at the gym and working on reshaping my body to its original beautiful form. It's hard work. I'm going to have to cancel my plans for New Year's eve because I'll just be way too exhausted. It's not going to be a very fun week, but hopefully it will be a fit one. That said, those stollen bites still need using up.

Claire

Claire's Diary 27/12/2015

27/12/2015

Dear diary

I will not look at the scales. I refuse to. The only person who knows my weight right now is my mum and I have given her strict instructions not to tell me. She's allowed to call me a giant, fat heffalump, but she can't tell me how much I weigh. In the meantime, I need to work out how I'm going to slim down. Work out! that's perfect!

Claire

Claire's Diary 26/12/2015

26/12/2015

Dear diary

Can't move today. I don't think I'll be snacking which is a shame because it means the many thousands of pretzels, mixed nuts and after dinner mints might just go to waste. Still, it does mean I can just sit still and enjoy a day in with my family. I just hope my brother is able to move because I don't want to have to sit next to him for an entire day. Why doesn't he go and get us both some fizzy pop? I honestly cannot move.

Claire

Claire's Diary 25/12/2015

25/12/2015

Dear diary

The family is out. They wanted to go for a walk for some reason. It's Christmas day! Who goes for a walk on Christmas day? So I'm just sitting here on my own. I think Goldfinger is gonna be on soon. They've been out for what seems like ages! Worse than that, the heating seems to have failed. It's absolutely freezing! I don't think I can take it much longer... Oh, they're back.
Merry Christmas!

Claire

Claire's Diary 24/12/2015

24/12/2015

Dear diary

That's better. I've slept off my stomach ache and now I'm watching some quality TV. I think this is The Sound of Music. I can't tell which one is Julie Andrews because nobody is singing yet. They're all dressed as nuns too. How much longer is this? I might switch over if they're going to sing that weird song. You know, the so-long-farewell one. Doesn't do much for me. I prefer South Pacific. As long as I fast forward through the musical numbers.

Claire

Claire's Diary 23/12/2015

23/12/2015

Dear diary

Don't feel good. Think I might have overdone it a little. My tummy has gone from complaining to rebelling. I'm going to have to make sure I don't snack on any more Christmas treats. How is that even possible? I can't just turn down mince pies! It's not even Christmas eve yet! This is going to be the worst Christmas since that year I had tonsillitis.

Claire

Claire's Diary 22/12/2015

22/12/2015

Dear diary

Toffee apple time! Or candied apple. I don't care as long as there's an apple in it. And it's covered in syrupy goodness. I think my teeth are beginning to hate me. Every time I bite into something sugary, they complain. And every time I swallow something sweet, my tummy complains. Oh well. nothing is going to stop me from enjoying my cavity seeds.

Claire

Claire's Diary 21/12/2015

21/12/2015

Dear diary

Guess who had a lollipop today? I haven't had one of these for a long time. I seem to remember them being a lot nicer when I was a tot. Still, they're not that bad. I suppose my sweet tooth never really went away. That said, I might have done it some damage with the amount of confectionary I have consumed over the past 21 days. I hate dentists.

Claire

Claire's Diary 20/12/2015

20/12/2015

Dear diary

You know what they say, sweets taste so much better when they're someone else's! I don't know exactly who said that. Maybe it was just me. No, I'm sure it's an ancient proverb. I certainly enjoy eating other people's food. This week I have stolen half a bowl of cereal, 6 chocolates and several strands of spaghetti. I don't feel so good. Maybe it's guilt? No wait, I'm pretty sure it's acid reflux.

Claire

Claire's Diary 19/12/2015

19/12/2015

Dear diary

I love my mum even more now because she bought a big bag of stollen bites! These things are the yummiest! I could live on them they're so good. OK, maybe if they weren't coated in icing sugar, I probably wouldn't like then so much. Actually, don't they have marzipan in them? I hate stupid marzipan! But I love stollen. Go figure.

Claire

Claire's Diary 18/12/2015

18/12/2016

Dear diary

Mum's gingerbread men are the best. I have 2 this morning. Then I had some more for elevenses. Then I had about 5 with my afternoon tea. Then I had a nap. Then I looked up the best recipe for gingerbread cookies so I could make some of my very own! But by that time, my mum had already made another batch. I love my mum.

Claire

Claire's Diary 17/12/2015

17/12/2015

Dear diary

Time for hot chocolate and marshmallows! Only problem is those marshmallows keep dissolving into the drink and I have to ad another handful. Very tasty though. And It really does put me in the holiday spirit. Unlike turkey. Seriously, why do we do that? Anyway, I should leave room for the mulled cider we're having later.

Claire

Claire's Diary 16/12/2015

16/12/2015

Dear diary

I'm trying as hard as I can to avoid spoilers for the new Star Wars movie. I don't know about my fellow Star Wars fans, but i want to be surprised. And eat popcorn. I'm not the biggest popcorn fan, but it's kinda the traditional snack for movies. Also I can't have hotdogs anymore because I've been told they are made from dogs. That's just wrong.

Claire

Claire's Diary 15/12/2015

15/12/2015

Dear diary

I've had so many chocolate bars today, I am actually scared of going anywhere near my bathroom scales. Maybe just one more? No! I have to stop or I'll get myself stuck in the doorway when it's time to go and post those Christmas cards. Or at least I would if I had any Christmas cards to post. I love chocolate. Is it a seasonal thing? I don't care it's always yummy. But I must stop. Unless... NO! I must stop!

Claire

Claire's Diary 14/12/2015

14/12/2015

Dear diary

OK, so maybe my brother isn't that bad. He makes a good fruitcake. By that I don't mean he is in any way a fruitcake, he's actually pretty stable. He brought some of his very own festive fruitcake and let me tell you it is delicious. It's good because it isn't soggy or crusty or filled with broken glass. It's just the right amount of holiday cheer.

Fruitcake. The one thing brothers are good for.

Claire

Claire's Diary 13/12/2015

13/12/2015

Dear diary

The family are here. Yes, that also includes my stupid brother. We don't hate each other, we're just siblings. He's the one who's always happy. I'm the one who's always annoyed. He always eats too much during the festive season. What the heck, he's never gonna read this, I hate him.

Claire

Claire's Diary 12/12/2015

12/12/2015

Dear diary

Why turkey? Turkey's aren't Christmassy at all. They are like ugly leather handbags except you can't use them to keep things in. Apart from onions. And sometimes chestnuts. Cranberry sauce is basically jam. Why do we spread jam on poultry? Also, what kind of word is poultry anyway? It's only called poultry when we're eating it. Am I a carnivore?

Claire