Sunday, 2 August 2015

Claire's Diary 02/08/2015

02/08/2015

Dear diary

I'm writing this from inside of a bush so that nobody sees me. It's difficult to write all of this down without making rustling noises. If I don't write carefully, I might get discovered. I don't know how I can keep this going. It's way more difficult than I imagined. Well, I might have to write the rest of this outside of this dumb bush. I don't know why I'm hiding here anyway.

Claire


Saturday, 1 August 2015

Claire's Diary 01/08/2015

01/08/2015

Dear diary

Still haven't made up my mind about the wall colour. In fact I seem to be in a far worse state than ever. The walls are now about 5 different colours and I haven't had time to eat or rest or do anything that doesn't involve paint. Why don't I just live in a tent?

Claire

New Stuff #15 out now!




Audio Junk #135 - Michael McBook


Friday, 31 July 2015

Claire's Diary 31/07/2015

31/07/2015

Dear diary

Time to paint those dumb walls a new colour! I'm thinking a nice shade of red. Not blood red, that's too morbid. Possibly cherry red. Cherry red is a bit close to blood red actually. Kangaroo red is too shiny. I might have to pick up some samples. What colour is my nose? I think that might look good on the walls. Unless I have a cold. I don't think watery mucus coloured walls will make visitors feel at home.
Blue then.

Claire

Beluga Weekly #340




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Thursday, 30 July 2015

Claire's Diary 30/07/2015

30/07/2015

Dear diary

Recently I had a look at myself in the mirror and it made me feel glum. I couldn't help noticing how gigantic my dumb ears are and also how humungous my stupid teeth are. Should I get them fixed? I don't know if it is possible to alter the size of my ears. Well, I do know plastic surgery can do that but I've never liked the idea of that. I'm thinking about taking some sort of remedy. I guess it's fairly common to want to change the look of one's stupid body parts.
My bottom, however, is very nice.

Claire

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Claire's Diary 29/07/2015

29/07/2015

Dear diary

Nothing to do today except relax and read a good book. What book am I reading I don't know, I'll check the cover... The Music Makers? I didn't even know I owned that one! I might have some difficulty with this. It's written in olden days speak. I mean, what kind of word is "makers"?

Claire


Tuesday, 28 July 2015

Claire's Diary 28/07/2015

28/07/2015

Dear diary

I was passing a toy shop last week when I noticed a teddy in the window and was struck with an interesting thought. Why are there no teddy-rabbits? Traditionally a teddy comes in the form of a stupid bear which I find very disheartening because it disregards all the other members of the animal kingdom. Why shouldn't a child cuddle up to a stuffed porcupine or a fluffy camel? It doesn't seem fair that the grizzlies should get all the glory.
Then I noticed there was a rabbit plushy in the same window and that shut me up.

Claire


Monday, 27 July 2015

Claire's Diary 27/07/2015

27/07/2015

Dear diary

I thought about spending my holiday in Miami but a friend of mine told me she saw an octopus in Miami so now I don't want to go. I have nothing against octopi in general, I just don't like the idea of one of them sneaking up on me with those suction pads and getting over affectionate with me. Mind you, they live in water so chances are I won't cross paths with one.

Claire

Sunday, 26 July 2015

Claire's Diary 26/07/2015

26/07/2015

Dear diary

The weather is brightening up a bit so I should get out while I have the chance.
Oh, wait, it's raining again.

Claire


Saturday, 25 July 2015

Claire's Diary 25/07/2015

25/07/2015

Dear diary

I used to love window shopping, but I'm starting to feel as though there aren't so many shops that have windows anymore. I reckon it's to do with the stupid information super highway. I think pretty soon, window shopping will become a lost art. All we will have is an online supermarket that caters for all of our consumer needs. No more waiting in line, no more paying over the dumb counter, no more leaving the house. Everything will be delivered to us. We might not even have to get up off the sofa.
I love the internet.

Claire

Audio Junk #134 - Blip is dead, long live Blip


Friday, 24 July 2015

Claire's Diary 24/07/2015

24/07/2015

Dear diary

It has just occurred to me that I have not cleaned my stupid toilet for a very long time. I dread to think what sort of condition it is in right now. Time to get the old brush out, maybe give it a good bleaching. Hopefully it won't take up too much of my dumb time. What am I saying? It's housework! Of course it's going to take up a lot of my dumb time!
What's on TV? Supergirl. Well, there goes that!

Claire

Beluga Weekly #339




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