Thursday, 2 July 2015

Claire's Diary 02/07/2015

02/07/2015

Dear diary

I'm getting closer to fulfilling my lifelong desire to pilot a flying saucer! As soon as I've finished building my own private space craft, I'm going to take to the skies, maybe go into space, boldly go where no stupid bunny has gone before, visit Mercury, get a tan, meet Marvin the martian and get some cool photos for my Instagram.
This might turn out to be more trouble than it's worth. In fact, forget it I'm having a night in.

Claire


Wednesday, 1 July 2015

Claire's Diary 01/07/2015

01/07/2015

Dear diary

There used to be a time when nobody used the internet to send their emails. They had to rely on pieces of paper with the message scribbled over it, placed into a dumb envelope with the address of the recipient on the back and a small square with a tiny photograph placed at the corner. That was what they did. I pity those poor souls.
Also spam came in tins.

Claire

New Stuff #14 now on Magcloud!

Tuesday, 30 June 2015

Claire's Diary 30/06/2015

30/06/2015

Dear diary

A good science experiment will answer questions you never even thought to ask. That's why I have been adding various different detergents to my baking tray. I hate washing that thing. It's like trying to give an orca a bubble bath. If science can't make my dishes clean, nothing can.

Claire



Monday, 29 June 2015

Claire's Diary 29/06/2015

29/06/2015

Dear diary

Remember those flowers I found right at the back of my garden? Well, they keep growing. I feel like I should move some of them into flower pots. This could go on for a long time. After all, I don't know who planted them in the first place. Now they seem to be breeding and I could end up with an entire greenhouse full of flowers in pots.
Or I could just dispose of them but that doesn't seem right considering they're orphans.

Claire

Sunday, 28 June 2015

Claire's Diary 28/06/2015

28/06/2015

Dear diary

Florence is, without a doubt, the most complicated friend I have ever made. I wish we could have fun, but she isn't much of a conversationalist, so I don't know what she considers fun. I don't even know if she likes having fun at all. Seriously, I would give anything to know what she is feeling. I hope I can learn how to read minds pretty soon because her face isn't telling me anything.
Maybe I should just take her phone away.

Claire

Saturday, 27 June 2015

Claire's Diary 27/06/2015

27/06/2015

Dear diary

I got a shock looking in the mirror today and finding out that one of my teeth has been chipped. This is very bad timing because I intend to eat a stick of rock this evening. Hopefully it will repair itself in time.

Claire


Audio Junk #130 - Whocaresosaurus


Friday, 26 June 2015

Claire's Diary 26/06/2015

26/06/2015

Dear diary

Something happened today that did not look pretty. I regret to announce that yours truly was in fact the culprit. I accidentally tore the fabric of space and time. I don't know if what I have created is a black hole, worm hole, quasar or void but one thing is for sure. There will be consequences. I cannot prevent that certainty.
I think I'll go to the pictures now.

Claire


Cowsplay - Dirty Pair


Tracy: Kei
Macy: Yuri

Dirty Pair is property of Nippon Sunrise

Beluga Weekly #335




Feel free to add a bunch of comments below!

Thursday, 25 June 2015

Claire's Diary 25/06/2015

25/06/2015

Dear diary

I can't play a musical instrument so that's something for me to work out. I think I'll get myself a guitar and one of those books with the stupid lines and dumb round bits that have lines poking out of them. I think they're called polo mallets. Not sure what type of music I will play, but I'm definitely gonna form a band. Maybe Florence will join if it turns out she can play tambourine. I still don't know anything about her.

Claire


Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Claire's Diary 24/06/2015

24/06/2015

Dear diary

A friend of mine made a good point today. He said I should try swimming at the deep end of the pool because that should help me get over my fear of water. It's true that I have avoided going anywhere near the deep end of any swimming pool. I think this is a good idea. There's just one problem. I'm going swimming tomorrow. Now that deep end is suddenly looking a lot deeper.
I need better friends.

Claire


Tuesday, 23 June 2015

Claire's Diary 23/06/2015

23/06/2015

Dear diary

Time for a coffee break. So what's new? Seen any good films lately? Is Jurassic World any good? Nice shoes. Where did you get those? Will you be going to the party at flat 14 tonight? Oh you didn't know about that? Should be fun as long as nobody complains to us about the noise.
Now back to work!

Claire


Monday, 22 June 2015

Claire's Diary 22/06/2015

22/06/2015

Dear diary

If oranges are called oranges, why aren't lemons called yellows? Or pears called greens? That would bring new meaning to the phrase, "eat your greens". Also, who originally discovered that pineapples are edible? I tip my hat to whoever that was. They're so prickly it's basically a fight with nature to get past that firm outer skin. And what is the point of eating an apple if you're not gonna eat the core?
Fruit is boring.

Claire