Claire's Diary 12/01/2015

12/01/2015

Dear diary

I have had so many stupid things to do today, you wouldn't believe it! Organisation has never been my thing. When you have so much to take care of, it gets pretty dumb. I can't sit down for a second because time is money and I mustn't waste it! I must spend it... the money... I think. Maybe I'll buy a bag of pretzels? And possibly a DVD to watch later.
Anyway, I'd better get back to work. Let's hope I manage to stay focused.

Claire

Claire's Diary 11/01/2015

11/01/2015

Dear diary

Somebody splashed me today! How dumb is it for someone to enjoy jumping into puddles and watching me get absolutely drenched. I mean really! I would have understood if it were a child but in this case, it wasn't. Basically, there are a few too many stupid 30-something-year-olds in this neighbourhood. 
I managed to dry off and get to my dentist appointment. Not much to report from that, other than I nearly walked out with two anaesthetic masks and a cylinder. I tried to explain how it happened but, needless to say, they weren't amused.
I must admit, I am a rabbit who really enjoys sweet things and even though my dentist did advise me not to, I bought a big bag of jellybeans after my check-up. I normally eat those after breakfast. That way I have the entire day to walk it off.

Claire

Claire's Diary 10/01/2015

10/01/2015

Dear diary

I have been very creative today.
I managed to mend a pair of jeans that I never wear, make a special set of book-ends and I even solved the problem with a plug that has been missing from the kitchen sink ever since I broke it and threw it out of the stupid window.
All I had to do was get an old flannel, wrap it around a plastic bottle cap and hey presto! A dumb plug! I've never been so pleased with myself. The dumb water did eventually cause the flannel to erode however so now it's just a plastic bottle cap. I would say that it does at least keep the water from draining but that wouldn't be true.
Oh well. These things take a lot of time and patience. Was it not Edison who said, "I can pick up a golf ball with my toes" or something to that effect?

Anyway, I'm tired.

See you in the morning.

Claire

Audio Junk #109 - Bulagatoons

Beluga Weekly #311

Claire's Diary 09/01/2015

09/01/2015

Dear diary

I feel like a party! Lots of balloons, music, friends, nibbles, the works.

Last time I threw a party, only a few people were able to attend, but that's OK. It will be stupid this time. So many of my friends have been laid off and have nothing better to do anymore.

I must make a shopping list so I can make sure I have everything I need for this bash:

• Balloons
• Mixed nuts
• Scotch eggs
• Mini sausages
• Fizzy Drinks
• Chocolate fountain
• Karaoke machine
• Limousine
• Swimming pool
• Cake

I'm looking forward to this party already!

I wonder if I should let my friends bring their friends? That way I can make more friends which would be really dumb and I don't know why I suggested it.

Claire

Claire's Diary 08/01/2015

08/01/2015

Dearest diary

Join me, I pray, as I lead you through the cobbled streets of Thursday morn, when I purchased a newspaper from a vendor who is partied to a lane on which many spiffing old beans reside.
I am currently sipping a jolly good cup of strong English tea and will be spending an enormous quantity of time writing stiff letters to the editors of that newspaper because I really cannot abide the atrocious font that they insist upon using. If I am to sit down for a spot of reading, I expect the words to be attractive and pleasing to my optical nerves.
There should be more English food in this country. Where oh where can I find crumpets at this hour? Who is driving my motorcar? It's that pesky brother of mine, that's who!
But I digress, you see, there will be a time when newspapers are a thing of the past and when that day comes, all will see that it is indeed, society which is to be blamed.

Pip-pip

Claire

Claire's Diary 07/01/2015

07/01/2015

Dear diary

I am pushing a stupid boulder up a hill today. This thing weighs a ton! I don't know how I am going to get it to the top of the hill by noon! I don't even know if I am supposed to do it by noon. Actually I don't even know why I am doing it in the first place.
Breakfast this morning consisted of bread and butter because my toaster doesn't work. I used to have cereal but the cupboards in my new house won't fit cereal boxes.
If pop tarts didn't taste so dumb, I may have had some of those for breakfast.
And now, back to pushing this boulder.

Claire